Connie vs. Fruit Cake

Fruit cake. I’d like to beat the crap out of the guy who invented fruitcake. I casually told my Aunt Gertrude once that I liked fruitcake, which in reality I was just humoring her. Since we aren’t that close, that is all she has to talk to me about. Worst off, she apparently told the rest of my family how much I enjoyed the unexplainable entity of fruitcake. I think I received over 13 fruitcakes last year from various family members. To add insult to injury, I set them out for the birds to eat. Well, as you can imagine, our backyard became a haven for thousands of the feathered friends. You can do the math on what happens when thousands of birds eat pounds of food in your yard. Larry still hasn’t forgiven me for that mess.